Who to Vote For
We were in Babas Khaya the other night. Its coming up to municipal election day so we were discussing who to vote for.
Pendulwa is still an ANC person: "I will never forsake Unbaba. I love him so much. He's like a father to me. I always think he might usurp Mugabe as the greatest African of all time. If only everyone would support him."
me: "But pendulwa, you never even met him. Besides, he keeps stealing money. Surely we should choose someone more honourable?
Pendulwa: You speak of honour? Where is your respect? Ubaba is the president, and you dare to say he steals. its disgusting. You should be thrown in jail. Anyway, I never met my real father either.
Phumelani: "Pendulwa's right. You must respect Ubaba, your leader. Besides, he hasn't stolen. He committed fraud and bribery and corruption, which are white man terms, like censorship. If you are elected leader, everything is yours anyway. How can you steal what is yours? Even the women, they are yours. So you can't commit rape either."
Pendulwa: "True, true. when we finally take control of this country, we will make sure the media never use those terms again. they will never denigrate Ubaba, our great leader.
Me: "But you took control 17 years ago. You've done nothing. Maybe someone else must have a turn."
Pendulwa: "We never took control. The white man gave us political power but never gave us any other power. He still runs the show. he still writes in the newspaper. he still pays me at work. we must demand all power. Besides, we had those silly white man puppets as presidents. None of them made the white man cross like Ubaba does. Ubaba is our first true African leader. we must give him a chance to get things right."
Me: "But what about Malema? Is he not a better African than Ubaba? Why don't we vote EFF?
Pendulwa: "I can not listen to you anymore. I'm going to kill you."
With that Pendulwa grabbed a quart and broke it on the side of the table. She had the sense to check it was empty first, breaking a non-empty one is unforgiveable. Luckily for me, Baba, who is a big guy, was there before she could carry out her threat.
Pendulwa is still an ANC person: "I will never forsake Unbaba. I love him so much. He's like a father to me. I always think he might usurp Mugabe as the greatest African of all time. If only everyone would support him."
me: "But pendulwa, you never even met him. Besides, he keeps stealing money. Surely we should choose someone more honourable?
Pendulwa: You speak of honour? Where is your respect? Ubaba is the president, and you dare to say he steals. its disgusting. You should be thrown in jail. Anyway, I never met my real father either.
Phumelani: "Pendulwa's right. You must respect Ubaba, your leader. Besides, he hasn't stolen. He committed fraud and bribery and corruption, which are white man terms, like censorship. If you are elected leader, everything is yours anyway. How can you steal what is yours? Even the women, they are yours. So you can't commit rape either."
Pendulwa: "True, true. when we finally take control of this country, we will make sure the media never use those terms again. they will never denigrate Ubaba, our great leader.
Me: "But you took control 17 years ago. You've done nothing. Maybe someone else must have a turn."
Pendulwa: "We never took control. The white man gave us political power but never gave us any other power. He still runs the show. he still writes in the newspaper. he still pays me at work. we must demand all power. Besides, we had those silly white man puppets as presidents. None of them made the white man cross like Ubaba does. Ubaba is our first true African leader. we must give him a chance to get things right."
Me: "But what about Malema? Is he not a better African than Ubaba? Why don't we vote EFF?
Pendulwa: "I can not listen to you anymore. I'm going to kill you."
With that Pendulwa grabbed a quart and broke it on the side of the table. She had the sense to check it was empty first, breaking a non-empty one is unforgiveable. Luckily for me, Baba, who is a big guy, was there before she could carry out her threat.
posted by Mpho Dlamini at
7:44 AM
|
0 comments
