More Tender Opportunities Coming Up

The police really had it hard. Imagine being expected to have a driving license if you want to be a policeman? Ridiculous, really!

http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2014/04/24/saps-getting-driving-lessons-to-save-fleet

This requirement was forcing policemen to go and buy illegal driving licenses so they could join the police service. Well that’s fair enough. They had no choice. They HAD to break the law. The idea that you can get a real driving license if you actually learn to drive obviously didn’t occur to them. That’s fair enough, they’re not being hired to be creative.

Also, why make it so hard (ok, expensive, depending on how you view it) to join the police service? Constable Patsy Mkula, a shining star in the police force, noticed the problem and applied her mind to a solution. The solution, like all brilliant ideas, is deceptively simple: waive the requirement. The result? Much fewer policemen are buying fake driving licenses before signing up. This is a double bonus for the police service. Theoretically they don’t have to buy and maintain police cars anymore. 

"What we have done actually is to uphold our most supreme law of this country. The Bill of Rights states that national legislation must be enacted to prohibit unlawful discrimination," she said.

Further investigation found that the requirement that you need to be in enough physical shape to run 50m was also preventing people from qualifying to join the force. Clinically obese people were finding this 50m run difficult. That sounds like exclusion based on a person’s shape. Unconstitutional, surely? 

Some potential police officers were forced to circumvent this requirement by getting a friend to run the 50m instead. Otherwise they couldn’t join the police force. They had no choice. To prevent this from happening, Constable Patsy Mkula came up with another brilliant idea which was implemented immediately. Waive the requirement to be able to run 50m. This has been hugely successful, with people of over 120kg now signing up in their droves. This initiative alone reduced the incidence of cheating on the 50m running test substantially. Constable Patsy Mkula is now Brigadier Patsy Mkula.

The police force recently found all their remaining cars being crashed by the policemen with legacy fake driving licenses driving them around. So in a further display of brilliance, they decided to get all the policemen with fake licenses together and send them for driving lessons. 

I wonder who’s getting that tender? Hopefully Sipho’s Funerals, Transport, Overloaded Office Chair Repairs and Policemen with Fake Driver’s Licenses Driver Training Services (Pty) Ltd.